Publishing the Un-published

Recently, I was given the opportunity to write a column for Olivet's student newspaper - Glimmerglass. The column was discuss my thoughts on gender relations specifically on this campus. The column didn't make the cut (Congress's Bailout package beat me out), but so many people helped me out on this that I thought it would be unfair for it not to be published. I'll shut up and let you read. Oh, since it is an editoral, let me know what you think.

Can we relate?

Gender relations cannot be discussed without addressing the issue of attraction. The type of attraction you have for an individual places a value on that person. Physical attraction definitely plays a role. However, we should look beyond the physical and seek the attraction with staying power.

We are attracted to many things. Maybe it’s a catchy song, a double bacon cheeseburger, or a red star in the night sky. What do you do with that attraction? Do you buy the CD or just the song at iTunes; spring for the $10 burger or use your meal plan at Sodexho; say “what a pretty star” or buy a telescope for further investigation?

Our relations with the opposite gender are governed by how others respond to us. Do we have the staying power? There is a lot of flirting here. It is natural to want to be liked; it is the technique you use to achieve that result that could be the problem. You must not go against God’s will just to be liked.

Part of going against God’s will is our disrespect for the opposite sex’s emotions. Flirting is playing with emotions. You may say, “It’s just harmless, I don’t mean anything by it” or “That’s how I am with everyone.” But you need to consider the effect it has on him/her.

There needs to be a change. If we claim to be brothers and sisters in Christ, then we must treat each other as Christ would. Don’t use your spirituality to score points with the opposite sex!
Your spiritual life must be your first priority. When you use it as a flirtatious pick up line it does not draw you or them closer to God, it only draws them closer to you. You are using God to manipulate the other gender for selfish purposes and that is not Christ like.

Communication. It is so simple and yet so confusing. God did a great job at making each other so intriguing, and yet complicated. We are attracted to and scared of the opposite sex at the same time. Here are some suggestions for better understanding.

Girls, say what you mean. Be blunt. Guys don’t like to figure it out, especially when you haven’t us anything. We are simple in our communication. Guys, be vulnerable. That means open up you do not have to be a stone wall all of the time. Admit when you are wrong, sad, frustrated, etc. Girls communicate with emotions. If you want them to understand you go with the flow, not against it.
In a recent SNL skit spoofing Hilary Clinton and Sarah Palin, Amy Poehler’s Hilary Clinton responds to sexism in politics, “An issue which I am frankly surprised to hear people suddenly care about.” Sexism has decreased drastically in the US in the last hundred years, but let us not lie and say that it’s vanished.

On campus, students have said that the Religion department holds males in higher regards. Also, the female dorms are stricter than the male dorms. Women fought for the rights they have now, and you must fight any injustice you’re facing.

If your concern is what a man or woman’s role is, you should be asking what is God’s role for me. We can only make decisions for ourselves. Let us be attentive and obedient to what God is saying to us.

We may think that someone is playing a role they should not, but our reaction should not be condemning but directing. Direct them to God, and from that point let God do the talking. A simple summation on my take on gender relations is – we need to shut up and start listening; first to God, then to the other gender.