"They say it takes less muscles to smile,
But on a day like today
I'll make the effort to frown.
God scratches His head to let
the dandruff accumulate on the ground.
Outside it's cold and that's all I feel.
When the firmament fell
did it ever try to get back up?
I'll take my cue from the sky.
When it's time to die, then die."

Don't you dare think it's your time!
Seek some more advice that
you're unwilling to let soak in.
If self-loathing had a liquid form,
You would have drowned in your room long ago.
Oh, but I spoke too soon.
You fill that shot glass with it every night
and I can't remember the last time
you didn't cry without it by your side.

Running on empty and you're trying to go uphill.
At the edge of the road, the world is a scary place.
Fear will keep your feet from trying to get to the other side.
Professional sessions and books
stack up on the resume of anti-triumph,
And you ask, "why does God hate me?"
In your world, God is a variable.
X equals God, friends, enemies, and you.
Open another self-help written by cynical critic
of social decompression and you just stare
it's beautiful blank pages.
Check the nutritional facts of your spiritual diet.
That body lacks healthy soul and you're
anemic to the life that is meant for you.
If walking away will take the pain from another day,
Then start running on the circular track that will lead
right back to where you started.

When the firmament fell, it didn't die.
Rather, it's past gets to lie on it's back to see
the beauty of what it has become.

How will your past view your future sky?

Publishing the Un-published

Recently, I was given the opportunity to write a column for Olivet's student newspaper - Glimmerglass. The column was discuss my thoughts on gender relations specifically on this campus. The column didn't make the cut (Congress's Bailout package beat me out), but so many people helped me out on this that I thought it would be unfair for it not to be published. I'll shut up and let you read. Oh, since it is an editoral, let me know what you think.

Can we relate?

Gender relations cannot be discussed without addressing the issue of attraction. The type of attraction you have for an individual places a value on that person. Physical attraction definitely plays a role. However, we should look beyond the physical and seek the attraction with staying power.

We are attracted to many things. Maybe it’s a catchy song, a double bacon cheeseburger, or a red star in the night sky. What do you do with that attraction? Do you buy the CD or just the song at iTunes; spring for the $10 burger or use your meal plan at Sodexho; say “what a pretty star” or buy a telescope for further investigation?

Our relations with the opposite gender are governed by how others respond to us. Do we have the staying power? There is a lot of flirting here. It is natural to want to be liked; it is the technique you use to achieve that result that could be the problem. You must not go against God’s will just to be liked.

Part of going against God’s will is our disrespect for the opposite sex’s emotions. Flirting is playing with emotions. You may say, “It’s just harmless, I don’t mean anything by it” or “That’s how I am with everyone.” But you need to consider the effect it has on him/her.

There needs to be a change. If we claim to be brothers and sisters in Christ, then we must treat each other as Christ would. Don’t use your spirituality to score points with the opposite sex!
Your spiritual life must be your first priority. When you use it as a flirtatious pick up line it does not draw you or them closer to God, it only draws them closer to you. You are using God to manipulate the other gender for selfish purposes and that is not Christ like.

Communication. It is so simple and yet so confusing. God did a great job at making each other so intriguing, and yet complicated. We are attracted to and scared of the opposite sex at the same time. Here are some suggestions for better understanding.

Girls, say what you mean. Be blunt. Guys don’t like to figure it out, especially when you haven’t us anything. We are simple in our communication. Guys, be vulnerable. That means open up you do not have to be a stone wall all of the time. Admit when you are wrong, sad, frustrated, etc. Girls communicate with emotions. If you want them to understand you go with the flow, not against it.
In a recent SNL skit spoofing Hilary Clinton and Sarah Palin, Amy Poehler’s Hilary Clinton responds to sexism in politics, “An issue which I am frankly surprised to hear people suddenly care about.” Sexism has decreased drastically in the US in the last hundred years, but let us not lie and say that it’s vanished.

On campus, students have said that the Religion department holds males in higher regards. Also, the female dorms are stricter than the male dorms. Women fought for the rights they have now, and you must fight any injustice you’re facing.

If your concern is what a man or woman’s role is, you should be asking what is God’s role for me. We can only make decisions for ourselves. Let us be attentive and obedient to what God is saying to us.

We may think that someone is playing a role they should not, but our reaction should not be condemning but directing. Direct them to God, and from that point let God do the talking. A simple summation on my take on gender relations is – we need to shut up and start listening; first to God, then to the other gender.

The Unknown End in the Distance

As I’m riding shotgun on a typical trip into town, I notice the power lines cutting through a large field. The cables suspend high above the ground. They have to otherwise they wouldn’t work. About every hundred meters or so, poles rise up like masts to help share the load. A mass of masts. The trail of cable & wood would have ceased to entertain me except for how far they seemed to go without branching out. They seemed to stretch out like a lifespan. Each pole representing a life experience adds strength to the continuing process of keeping those small, but vital cables up in the air. The faith of those poles is the fascinating thing. If we were in the poles shoes, we would have given up just because we weren’t close enough to see the end result of a house with electricity. Alone in the cold, the pole has no reason for hope. No friend to talk to (except the occasionally bird). No comfort to get through the weather. After a short amount of time, any of us would have let down our arms and let go of the cable. Thankfully, the average everyday, wooden telephone pole is a whole lot stronger than we are. Just by its faith, it stands firmly in the ground without giving up even though it cannot see the final outcome. Our lives are the power lines. Life experiences are the poles. Will you let them hold you up or drag you on the ground?

TOO much time in TOO few of words

Excuse me...
Take a few seconds to listen.
Hear the words of the sun.
"Both of us are dying,
but we must keep shining."
Look at all the pretty people
wishing they were the fairest of them all.
In the eyes of the beholder,
what do you see?

I see...
Clouds rollings on blue skies
with lonely people hiding
beneath the trees.
Trees that they cut down
just like the curtain in
front of the stage.
Stop acting here.
The sun has only a few rays left,
and your breaths are getting shorter.

Tell me...
Where are we going?
Spinning circles around a star.
Rotating our busy day
with time that's given on loan.
When you sleep in darkness
do you get to pay it back?
No more questions to ask,
but so many that need answered.
Look up and look around.
Are you happy with
what you see?

You don't have to turn your back...
There will be mornings that you would
rather dream through.
Alarm clocks that you
can't snooze to save your life.
A distant reminder that
you have a life that you
can't live in dreams.

Saving the World & Mowing the Lawn

Following the dots in front of me,

and not seeing the line I’m making.

The fear of seeing your car.

Knowing that you are

right in front of me.

Talking about the things I lack

knowing the places I’m not going

and you’re always showing them to me.

You cry like it matters.

You cry like you care.

Your actions that follow don’t show the same.

Stop putting on this friendly face.

You’re the enemy even if you think you’re not.

When the apathy draws you further from the truth,

your reality is a great escape.

The deaths of many don’t mean much on paper.

Balance your checkbook and see if you can donate a dollar

to this grand mistake.

I can’t help but thinking that the judgment is calling us from the future

to our present to warn us of a terrible past. Yet, we do not answer.

Screening the calls, and leaving the phone to ring over and over till the battery goes dead.

They’re all dead. Just shake your head.

If only they could reach out. If only they were you!

In a land of plenty, its inaction comes in plenty.

Doesn’t the video footage look good on your new plasma?

Was the price the same as our leaders political cost?

Head or tails, finding change is always lucky.

Sitting here staring at this screen, life has found a new meaning. I’m always looking at things in a creative way. Looking at something that would make a good photograph or a good location for a certain scene in a certain film, but what gets me lost is translating those images and emotions they evoke into a sentence. Just a few simple words. I’ve written a LOT about my mistakes, but hardly ever the good stuff. Is it ironic that I hate how negative I find myself being? I wish I could change the world hitting this keyboard like a playing on a piano. Instead, staring at this screen trying to find the syllables in the words that’ll change the world leave no change and little progression in my world. Through all these poems and random ramblings, I’ve stated the path that is needed to be taken, but instead I look for more words like they’ll give answers. Making it on your. Becoming an adult. Growing up. There are so many around me that have taken these phrases to heart, but I’m lost in the prepositions. My arms are weak and these eyes are growing tired of the routine. When my job consists of counting and each day counts against me, I slowly slip into the monotony. Change. One word. Change. An action verb, but if no action is taken then it’s meaning is lost in the translation. I’ve been cold for too long. If you need a friend or someone to talk to, I want to be there. If you need a hand or someone to lean on, I want to be there. If you need to change, I want to be there. I want to be in the change you need. I want to be in the change.

Conversations with your Voicemail

If you ever start a sentence that way again,

this will be the last message I’ll ever send.

Pressing my thumbs in my eyes that I

may blind myself from your letters.

When a response is just the start

to an argument,

then my unbroken silence is my reply.

(Cue: Overused Cry)

Friends stand by you.

A hero in your heart,

but our hearts are most deceitful.

Devils stand by me.

A villain in your heart,

but remember your heart is most deceitful.

There are times when we must move on.

How can I do that when you’re still

holding on?

These are the lies that you’re

feeding yourself.

Denial is what you reach for in the shelf.

Memories can get you drunk and

you won’t remember it in the morning

that those memories fade into the grey.

I can’t be your friend today.

My plane has long since flown away

leaving you on the ground

trying to catch a cab to catch up.

Life has meaning.

My definition is not what yours is supposed to mean.

You won’t take comfort in the words

I give because they’re not the

words you want to hear.

Listen my dear, your excuses turn to anger to fuel

your flame that I only ignited.

Let go. Disconnect the chords

that have been cut for so long.

The responsibility has left me

because when I’m not involved,

how could I do you continuous wrong?

The options are all yours.

I hope you know.

These messages are like open sores.

These words are all I have to show

for the time was fun,

but those days are done.

Done.

You won’t take comfort in these words I give

because they’re still

the words you don’t want to hear.

For once, deny your thoughts.

Deny your heart.

Lend an open ear.