AHHHHH!!!!! Now that’s out, nope, never mind. I still don't feel better. Do you ever feel that you're not being yourself because you can be a much more likable person being someone else? “Just be yourself.” “Be true to yourself.” Those are great things, but when you’re surrounded by people that reject the person you’re trying to be true to it’s easier to give in, and be the person they like. Yes, I know that I said “it’s easier,” but for those people that think they have life completely figured out – you’re wrong. The whole attitude of “I know exactly what kind of person a good person should be and if you don’t follow these precise specifications, then I know that you’re not as good as me because I do!”
Once again, AHHHHH!!!!! Yes, this post is a soapbox, but I want to continue this. Recently, I came into confrontation with this personality. That person is right. You shouldn’t lie about or avoid a problem when you can simply just admit to the truth. You should stand firm for what you believe in and not give in. You should back the people you love without ever turning your back on them. Yes, those are all the right things to do, BUT our lives are not perfect. What happens when we fail? Should we play out the rest of our days based on the mistakes we make? NO!! I beg you no!
For me, I have done all of those things. Not a single one of them am I proud of. Since those mistakes were born, they have been neglected. Forgotten. What that person did not include in their attitude was forgiveness. If you cannot forgive, then you cannot be forgiven. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth? No, but if we demand so much from others around us, when we are not perfect ourselves, without forgiveness, then we are no better than the people we look down on. Ok, that’s out. Back to the other thing.
The past several months have served as a huge spiritual growth period. Not only spiritual growth, but overall maturity. Still, when I’m in certain situations I give up all that growth to put on the mask of pleasing. Lowering my ideals to make a good joke. There are times when I’ll do/say something and the minutes later I'll reflect on it with shame. I act like the jerk I’m not. I HATE THAT! I’m funny and popular, but rarely the man I want to be. Pray. Please pray for me to have strength. Please pray for yourself to have that same strength. Whoever you are – I love you. Hope that you pray for the day that we’ll be ourselves.
