Life. Life begins and ends. If you leave life at that definition, then it seems pretty clear, but it's not. All that "stuff" between the beginning and end, which is the antonym of clear. Uncertain. Maybe. For some people, life has a clear direction and for others it’s quite cloudy. I look at where I’m at, and wonder where you are now? Traveling through my mental time machine, events that caused the decisions that led to the place where I’m at seem fuzzy. Sometimes I feel like Adam Sandler’s character on Reign Over Me, who rides around with his headphones blasting his favorite music in his ears to drown the memories that keep swimming to the surface. How many tears have I not cried? How many opportunities have I denied? There’s always love, right? I’m finding that is cloudy too. My heart has been given away to such irrational loves. Unguided, and lost in those immature moments, my “life” has been altered.

Of the many important things that Joshua Harris writes about in “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”, his comments on the season of singleness is my favorite. He states that through defective dating we lose our focus for our lives. We lose our focus on God. Simply, we lose our focus. I lost mine, and the only thing I can focus on is trying to figure out when I went wrong. Still, where does that get me? Lingering over what happened during those days won’t stop the sun from setting again. The sun set before, and it will continue. Harris said this brilliant quote, “Don’t do something about your singleness. Do something WITH it!” I caught a little bit of the movie “Shall We Dance” and I heard a statement that many people probably argee with:

“We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."

Reflecting over “life”, I hope that my future love doesn’t come with the motive of that statement. So for now, waiting isn’t a game, but a wonderful opportunity to learn. I’ve learned that waiting for “life” will only leave a reminiscent boy wondering why he waited, but some of life’s uncertainties require what waiting provides. Patience.